This weekend I was preparing to do a presentation for a language evaluation in my Khmer class. Because I had been studying the book of Exodus with one of my teachers, he encouraged me to share about the life of Moses. I was nervous about the idea of having to share because I am more confident in my listening abilities than speaking abilities. I tend to stumble over my words if I’m not really connected emotionally to the story even when speaking English. So when speaking Khmer, a language that I have to work very hard at if I want to express myself articulately, it’s much easier to speak from my heart or from experience.
The weekend had flown by with Chinese New Year celebrations & visiting friends (I’ll write another blog just about that). I had yet to prepare what I was going to say and I was supposed to give my presentation to my teachers on Monday. As I laid down in my bed Sunday night I began to ask what the Lord wanted me to share. How do I relate to Moses? What do I have in common with the Israelites? The more I began to think about these questions, the clearer it became & I had my topic.
Cambodia has been like a desert season for me. Since I set foot in this country I’ve felt dry, thirsty & out of place. I’ve often felt like a wanderer with no purpose or the purpose hasn’t been made clear. Like the Israelites, I’ve questioned God, His Presence & His purpose in my life. I’ve felt alone & misguided. I’ve made mistakes along the way & have failed to listen to His voice even when He has attempted to speak to me. I’ve often wondered, “How did I end up here?”
The neat thing about the desert is that there is a purpose for it and we must all go through it. It is an in-between stage where one must learn to TRUST and WAIT on God. Each of us is guaranteed to face desert seasons where we don’t understand God or the process He is taking us through. Yet it is our responsibility to remain faithful and obedient to the Spirit of God as He leads us & TRUST that He will direct us in the right direction. It was necessary for the Israelites to go through the desert to get to the promised land. Though it is difficult, I’m learning to be thankful in this season. I’m learning that maybe the reason the Lord sent me out here isn’t so much about the work that I would be doing for Him or for others but about the work He would be doing in me.
I am being strengthened & refined.
It makes the desert worth it.
Amen, Amarja. You ARE being strengthened and refined. You are much stronger now. And you are making a difference to girls who never had anyone care for them.
And I do see God in you! I love the song the mountain of God by third day. It talks about these very things. It has encouraged me so often – particularly when I was going through a very rough spot. We have to go through the valley to get to the mountain of God… Remember he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. So how did they like the sharing about Moses?
Very good my dear daughter, Amarja, As long as you remain open to the desert taking you through those experiences that you need to grow in the lord you will go far. The children of Israel’s main problem was their stubborn attitudes. They literally wandered around in the desert because they made the same stupid mistakes over and over again. It wasn’t until they were able to swallow their pride and admit their total depravity and need of God’s direction that they were finally able to enter into the promised land. That was not; however, until an entire generation of the original band who left their bondage in Egypt to flee the wrath of Pharaoh was all but totally annihilated in the desert. After 57 years of life, I have finally come to realize that without total surrender of our will to God, then we will continue to go around in circles in the deserts of life experiences. I am not perfected yet, but God in His infinite wisdom has finally gotten through to me. Fern and I are just about finished with the immigration process here in Canada. With the help and direction of God, we are excited to see just where He will take us in our lives together. Be encouraged, God isn’t finished with you yet! Remember to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not upon your own understanding. Acknowledge Him with all of your heart and He will direct your paths.” Amen! Loving you , Your Dad
Wise words for one so young. What grace to learn this so early on. Some never do. You are beautiful in His eyes.
This was a timely word for me. Thanks for sharing this.