Who Am I?
This is a question each of us is faced with in life.
In fact, Who Am I? is such a prevalent question that it was even the title of todays sermon given in church. Hence, this blog.
Like it or not, our entire lives are built around this question.
Who Am I? Along with, who do others say that I am?
We take all kinds of personality tests and self reflective analysis to get to “know” ourselves better. We try to pinpoint our gifts so that we can fulfill our God given purpose in life (assuming that we have one and are in some sort of pursuit to find it).
Today is my 24th birthday…Woohoo!!!
BUT… after the laughter & celebrations have subsided, when things have quieted down & I’m alone in my room at midnight, I’m left to ponder this question yet again…
Who Am I?
Who am I?
When everything that I once found my identity in has suddenly been stripped from me.
Who am I?
When I am surrounded by a people, language & culture that is different from anything I’ve ever known or understood.
Who am I?
When things that once were easy have now become difficult tasks.
Who am I?
When I left everything familiar to proclaim the goodness of the Gospel in a foreign country when I question its power in my own life.
I have no simple solution to this question…
Except that my prayer for this next year is that my identity would be found in Christ alone & that others would see Christ in me.
I will leave you with this poem written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer whilst in prison before his execution for conspiring to assassinate Adolf Hitler. He was a great thinker and writer whose work is still impacting us today.
“Who am I?” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I would step from my cell’s confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a squire from his country-house.
I would talk to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.
I would bear the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.
Or am I only what I know of myself?
restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
trembling in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?
Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine.
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “Who am I?” in Letters & Papers From Prison (New York: Touchstone, 1953/1997), 347-8.
What a powerful statement of all the mixed elements of humanity. But in the end, “I am Thine.” Great source to read and reflect on.
I love you.
What a deep thinker you are my dear. You have chosen one of my several heroes of the faith, as you quoted Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s poem “Who Am I?” which was written as he stood his ground against the madman Adolph Hitler and the insane Nazis.
Bonhoeffer never failed in his trust in God, even to the point of an ignoble death being hung by the neck, naked. Just as he came into the world, with nothing to hide. Does that remind you of someone else? If you come up with the answer “Christ” then you understand completely. Not that I nor Bonhoeffer would ever wish to be even thinking that suffering for a greater cause than self would make us worthy to even be compared to the gift of God’s grace given to us by the Crucifixion death of the naked Christ on the cross. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me.” Galatians 2:20 NIV.
Bonhoeffer could have remained with friends in the safety of exile, writing intellectual anti Nazi Theological and treatises from afar, but he chose to involve himself in a much more risky business. He chose rather to return home to his native Germany, infiltrating the very regime which he despised. He gave up the chance of having a completely normal life (that is as normal as one could expect if one complacently chose to ignore the injustices being perpetrated by the Nazis upon God and humankind) with the love of his life just so he could stand for that which was right.
God has chosen you Amarja to be where you are right now. He knows all of the prayers that have gone up on your behalf from before you were born. He even knows the loving thoughts and prayers that even went into the choice of your name as your mom and I were serving in the mission field in Saga, Japan — Knowing we had a little girl on the way. “Amarja” Of course you know the meaning “A Promise of God Fulfilled by a Daughter! You are A PROMISE from God and you have been called for such a time as this to Fulfill HIS special calling upon your life. I pray His protection upon all that you endeavor to do in His service. With Love from your Dad, Bryan and your Step Mom, Fern
this is the question I’m struggling with.
Love you.
Hey Happy belated birthday! Praise God for all the great things that your expereincing over there. I feel like this identity topic is everywhere I go. Thank you for your insight of this topic, it’s inspirational so please keep the post coming. Stay encouraged in Jesus name.
You are wrestling with some really great stuff. Finding our identity in Christ is foundational to knowing our true selves. Our false selves so easily take over our choices. Keep pressing into this. Your answers will come. Happy Birthday! Praying for you.