With boldness comes warfare, the battle belongs to the Lord!
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.&n...
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"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
I did not want to be in Cambodia but I was sent. I did not choose to come to this place that is dirty, crowded, with a language I did not want to learn, a team I did not choose, where I would have to raise my means of living instead of having to "work" for it and having to love people I had never once thought about. This sounds SELFISH but it's the truth. From the beginning of the application process, I was uncertain about answering the call to Phnom Penh. But the Lord spoke to me and said, "you can stay where you are comfortable and still be used or I can send you to a place completely out of your comfort zone where you will struggle tremendously but your faith will increase." Praise God I chose the latter!
My team and I are nearing on our 3rd month in this foreign land. We're involved with several ministries, building relationships with people in our neighborhoods and our language is improving tremendously! It has not been easy. This three months feels like it's been over a year. I've been having to take captive my thoughts, my doubts, my desires and my fears that have been many. As it often goes, I would not have been able to write this blog a month ago because I was blind to the fact that my attitude sucked at the time. I thought my transition was going smoothly just because I hadn't had a huge blow out with my teammates or because I wasn't crying myself to sleep missing "home." However, all the while my spirit was waging a war. I was walking defeated, I was powerless because I thought the battle was mine instead of the Lords. I was questioning God because there is so much injustice happening here but it's so hidden I became numb to it and started wondering why the Lord didn't keep me in the states where there seems to be enough work to be done, where people are being trafficked right down the road.
"Phnom Penh doesn't need another ex-pat, white person or missionary to try and 'help' the people. There are enough churches and NGO's already here why can't they just spread good news themselves? We need people to rise up in America in a country that is statistically comprised of believers but much of the body of Christ is powerless and if the name of Jesus is even mentioned in public people cringe. I did not come here to work a 9-5 job with some organization, I thought I was going to be 'rescuing' women/young girls who need to be pulled out of the lives they have been 'forced into.'" Welcome to my prideful heart.
Many church services, prayer nights with my team, conversations with neighbors who have never even heard the name Jesus, clients who have never known they are truly loved despite their pasts, God inserting truth where I was entertaining lies and a few months later HERE I AM. I can feel my perspective changing, my thoughts being transformed by the day. The Lord is raising me up and I can feel it in my bones. The enemy however, is 'prowling around seeking who he may devour' 1 Pet. 5:8.
The last three weeks my teammates and I have been battling with sickness. I had a cold of some sort for about two weeks, I've been doing much better this week and out of nowhere today while working at Daughters, my body started becoming weak and achey and I've come down with a fever. I REFUSE to let this steal my joy because the word of God in Eph. 6 declares that we are not battling flesh and blood rulers but spiritual powers. Jesus declares in Lk. 12 and Matt. 10 that we are not to be afraid of those who can kill our physical bodies but can not touch the soul. And finally 1 Sam. 17 reminds us that the battle is not ours but the battle belongs to the Lord!
When I replace the lies, the aches and the pains with the living Word of God, I can rejoice: 1.) Because it doesn't belong to me anyway and I'm really battling a defeated foe and 2.) Because this trial has been increasing my faith. God is good ALL THE TIME not only when things are going my way (Rom. 8:28).
God is receiving victory here in Cambodia! People are coming to know the love of Christ through the love of His people, the words of their testimonies, prayers of the righteous and the POWERFUL NEVER CHANGING WORD OF GOD! I have had the privilege of seeing the Holy Spirit bring comfort, healing and restoration to the people here who worship gods carved by their own hands. The beautiful people of Cambodia who I am learning to love more daily have yet to learn that the God of creation who made the heavens, the earth and everything in between for His glory (Col. 1:16; Rom. 11:36; Jn 1:3) has a plan for them too. They surely have not been forgotten. When we do our parts as His faithful servants by walking in obedience to His voice, (Jn 10:27) no matter how insignificant it may seem, we are helping that plan move forward.
Believe with me, pray with me and declare with me by FAITH that the number of believers in Cambodia will DOUBLE this year! Thank you for your ongoing prayers as they are also strengthening me in my weakness. Be blessed today and forever AMEN
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