“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
I did not want to be in Cambodia but I was sent. I did not choose to come to this place that is dirty, crowded, with a language I did not want to learn, a team I did not choose, where I would have to raise my means of living instead of having to “work” for it and having to love people I had never once thought about. This sounds SELFISH but it’s the truth. From the beginning of the application process, I was uncertain about answering the call to Phnom Penh. But the Lord spoke to me and said, “you can stay where you are comfortable and still be used or I can send you to a place completely out of your comfort zone where you will struggle tremendously but your faith will increase.” Praise God I chose the latter!
My team and I are nearing on our 3rd month in this foreign land. We’re involved with several ministries, building relationships with people in our neighborhoods and our language is improving tremendously! It has not been easy. This three months feels like it’s been over a year. I’ve been having to take captive my thoughts, my doubts, my desires and my fears that have been many. As it often goes, I would not have been able to write this blog a month ago because I was blind to the fact that my attitude sucked at the time. I thought my transition was going smoothly just because I hadn’t had a huge blow out with my teammates or because I wasn’t crying myself to sleep missing “home.” However, all the while my spirit was waging a war. I was walking defeated, I was powerless because I thought the battle was mine instead of the Lords. I was questioning God because there is so much injustice happening here but it’s so hidden I became numb to it and started wondering why the Lord didn’t keep me in the states where there seems to be enough work to be done, where people are being trafficked right down the road.
“Phnom Penh doesn’t need another ex-pat, white person or missionary to try and ‘help’ the people. There are enough churches and NGO’s already here why can’t they just spread good news themselves? We need people to rise up in America in a country that is statistically comprised of believers but much of the body of Christ is powerless and if the name of Jesus is even mentioned in public people cringe. I did not come here to work a 9-5 job with some organization, I thought I was going to be ‘rescuing’ women/young girls who need to be pulled out of the lives they have been ‘forced into.'” Welcome to my prideful heart.
Many church services, prayer nights with my team, conversations with neighbors who have never even heard the name Jesus, clients who have never known they are truly loved despite their pasts, God inserting truth where I was entertaining lies and a few months later HERE I AM. I can feel my perspective changing, my thoughts being transformed by the day. The Lord is raising me up and I can feel it in my bones. The enemy however, is ‘prowling around seeking who he may devour’ 1 Pet. 5:8.
The last three weeks my teammates and I have been battling with sickness. I had a cold of some sort for about two weeks, I’ve been doing much better this week and out of nowhere today while working at Daughters, my body started becoming weak and achey and I’ve come down with a fever. I REFUSE to let this steal my joy because the word of God in Eph. 6 declares that we are not battling flesh and blood rulers but spiritual powers. Jesus declares in Lk. 12 and Matt. 10 that we are not to be afraid of those who can kill our physical bodies but can not touch the soul. And finally 1 Sam. 17 reminds us that the battle is not ours but the battle belongs to the Lord!
When I replace the lies, the aches and the pains with the living Word of God, I can rejoice: 1.) Because it doesn’t belong to me anyway and I’m really battling a defeated foe and 2.) Because this trial has been increasing my faith. God is good ALL THE TIME not only when things are going my way (Rom. 8:28).
God is receiving victory here in Cambodia! People are coming to know the love of Christ through the love of His people, the words of their testimonies, prayers of the righteous and the POWERFUL NEVER CHANGING WORD OF GOD! I have had the privilege of seeing the Holy Spirit bring comfort, healing and restoration to the people here who worship gods carved by their own hands. The beautiful people of Cambodia who I am learning to love more daily have yet to learn that the God of creation who made the heavens, the earth and everything in between for His glory (Col. 1:16; Rom. 11:36; Jn 1:3) has a plan for them too. They surely have not been forgotten. When we do our parts as His faithful servants by walking in obedience to His voice, (Jn 10:27) no matter how insignificant it may seem, we are helping that plan move forward.
Believe with me, pray with me and declare with me by FAITH that the number of believers in Cambodia will DOUBLE this year! Thank you for your ongoing prayers as they are also strengthening me in my weakness. Be blessed today and forever AMEN
love your heart mari and i love how you are allowing god to take captive your thoughts, grab your heart, tweak your character and transform you. there is so much more to come!! im excited and blessed to be on this journey with you.
Amen, Amarja! Great to hear that God is taking you through all this. Thank you for sharing it with us. Life in Cambodia is hard and the kingdom first advances in us before we get to participate in helping take it elsewhere.
We’re praying for you.
I am so praying for you and your team. You are such a witness to all that know you. You have truly listen and seek God’s will and your such a good and faithful servant. Thank you for your Boldness it has only given me the courage to step out in faith in my own life. I will continue to pray for you girls.
Vernica
I am praying for you to get better. You are growing so much. Keep your eyes on Jesus, spend time in worship and when you’re too worn out to do anything just soak in his presence. Your faith is strong. You are doing great. Oh, and that picture is beautiful!
My darling Daughter Amarja, I don’t know how this one slipped by without my having read it before, but I can see the strong warrior Princess (not Zena)that you have become. You know that you have always been my Princess, but now you have become aware of your royal bloodline through Christ. Hallelujah! That’s right, you are a child of the King and the heir of His promises. This is greater far than any earthly royal bloodline or even knighthood. I, as your dad have been blessed as I’ve seen you grow stronger in your faith. We both know that this could only take place as weaknesses were confessed and given into the hands of our loving Father in Heaven. Hallelujah! As you get ready for spending some time with your Mom, Jerry, your sibs and Japanese extended family members in Japan for Christmas may you go in God’s might and may this be a blessing to family who may not yet know the joy of living for the Lord. Have a blessed Christmas and may our God prosper your soul and life throughout the New Year “2012” Love and Prayers, Your Dad and Step Mom Fern