Thank God for choosing imperfect people as His servants otherwise I would have been disqualified a long time ago. I am just so overwhelmed by God’s grace and mercy. I am so thankful for His unconditional love. Man, it’s definitely been a crazy last few weeks. I’m currently in a strange place where I am stuck between the past and the future but loathe where I am currently. I miss my life in Florida. Because this be my first year out of college, many people I love including the family I established in West Palm Beach are still there. It’s really difficult being away from them because I have never found a community quite like them. The last of my family just left on Tuesday to embark on their new adventures which is super exciting for them but leaves me to a big, empty house all alone. Being alone is difficult because my flesh has been rising up and I am waging war everyday against my sinful nature. I don’t like where I am…it’s uncomfortable. I want to be in Cambodia already but I know God has me here for a specific purpose and I’m beginning to see the blessings even in the midst of the storm. He is exposing and preparing my heart to be more sensitive to His voice. I suppose this process is necessary. He is teaching me to commune with Him without distractions. To fall in love with Him all over again…
It seems that you are going through something very similar that I had to go through when I came back to WPB in ’08. Especially when it comes down to being by yourself. As a result I am now not only able to hear the still small voice more clearly, but I have also been cleaned out from alot of other junk that was inside of me. Thanks to this I was able to go to a new level of maturity not only in my walk but also in my life as well. If he did it for me, then Amarja He will do it for you to. Just stay on the narrow path no matter how difficult the situation may become or is. I am letting you know that from my own experience that everything will work out and you will obtain what you are looking for concerning you maturing in your walk and drawing closer to our Lord.
My dear wonderful Daughter Amarja,You may already know this, but Fern & I are here together in Okotoks, AB, Canada waiting on the Lord too. For someone your age that seems more natural in the course of living, although difficult too we’re certain.
At 55 years of age, however, it seems that we should be more certain of where we’re going in regards to direction and purpose. Both Fern and I are looking into what types of work that we would be best suited for and which would be a blessing to God and others as well. I for one am trying to figure this whole visa application and working in Canada thing out as well. Abraham at the age of 80 left the city of UR to follow his calling, but he didn’t have to deal with visa applications nor government red-tape to my knowledge. Oh well it will all work out, I’m certain.
Another thing I know is that I do miss my children. It would be wonderful to know as well how my children are doing and to keep in touch. I am missing that link to you and Markus and Hanna as well. I love you dear and know that God has something wonderful in store for your life. May He in His infinite wisdom lead us all to that place where we can serve Him in the best way possible.